Despite U.S. envoy Dennis Rodman’s best attempts to convince the world that his BFF, Kim Jong-Un, is a “great guy,” the UN has decided to move ahead with increased sanctions on North Korea. The latest sanctions will attempt to significantly reduce Jong-Un’s dictator flair by restricting other countries from exporting luxury cars, yachts, and jewelry to a country that invests billions of dollars in its military and nuclear weapons program but at the same time can’t afford to keep millions of its own citizens from dying of starvation.
Like a scolded teenager who has just lost driving and Xbox privileges until “we say so,” Jong-Un has predictably lashed out at his authority figures. His ire is currently directed at America, who Jong-Un must believe is planning to follow through on an unspoken threat to “take him out of this world.” Through his totalitarian version of social media (the government-run KCNA news agency) Jong-Un updated his status yesterday to the following:
“Since the United States is about to ignite a nuclear war, we will be exercising our right to preemptive nuclear attack against the headquarters of the aggressor in order to protect our supreme interest.”
Side note: This is a much more serious tone than his previous status: “Me and #WORMinNorthKorea just did a Harlem shake video. Kind of lame with just two people tho.”
Now, I don’t know exactly what the North Korean Bill of Rights looks like (no one does), but the “right” to preemptive nuclear attack does seem like it would be a natural fit. What I cannot understand is why Jong-Un thinks that he has a right to destroy people preemptively, before they even begin to carry out the actual act that he fears?
Surely, no righteous nation would ever do a thing like that. Oh, wait…
Barneysday said:
Most excellent conclusion!
Mark Moore - commentary on the gospel, baseball, and other stuff said:
Are you sure Bill O’Reilly didn’t write that post? :-0
Otis t. said:
Dear Mr polit, I have not been viewing your letvtist site lately. What with nascar in gear and the possiablity ov Danica Patricks’ top comimming ovv I have been quite busy.So the other day the bat phone rings and my man at the “agency” tells me to check out your rag,he says you have really gone ovv the reservation this time. Comparing US to N.Korea,Shame on you. I do share some ethical concerns about the use ov drones(it does seem drone sorties have increased substancaly under lame duck,or just lame obbama)But iv they can get Dennis the worm to pinpoint jung jung, give me the joy stick baby, they can bury those two clowns together.Now clean up your act or the boys down at the agency told me they could grind your server to a halt.God Bless George W. Bush.
Your Pal
Otis
(Nam de plume)
carpetbagger said:
He’s just sabre rattling. China will probably slap him down now that the US is planning to move 14 missile interceptors to Alaska, from which we can probably see Kim’s house. I don’t think China wants America’s drones looking to the east.
And I just assume that if you put a secret camera in Kim’s house, it would look like the Harlem Shake videos all the time.